Motherhood "challenge" - Stop the madness
I almost started a Facebook rant about this stupid motherhood challenge topic, but then I decided my thoughts would be better fleshed out into a blog since I haven't written one in a very long time.
***Disclaimer: It is Day 3 of my juice cleanse, so all bets are off as far as my craziness goes. You've been warned.***
Welcome back to Babbling Brooks, I guess?
Over Lent, I decided to give up social media sites like Facebook and Instagram. Sort of a social media cleanse, if you will. My sister in law inspired me. She's been off of social media for what seems like forever and has not looked back. I didn't think I could do it. I wanted to do it, but couldn't find it in me to give up the friends and family from far away that I keep in touch with on FB. So instead I deleted a bunch of people. My close friends refer to this stage in my life as "the purge". I went through my FB friends list and I deleted about 800 people. Sounds silly, but I just felt like a lot of people who were liking my stuff had no idea who I really was. So I went through and selected people that I felt I actually wanted to share my life with. Why? I'm an over sharer. It's what I do. If you know me in real life, I do it to your face just as much as I do on the FB. Let's not mistake that I am super aware of that. Some people find it annoying, some people find it amusing and some people, I'm sure, have un-followed me. But as the great Rupaul says "what other people think of you is none of your god damn business". Shout out to my cycling teacher, Stacy, who often reminds us of this valuable and inspiring quote. So follow me or don't, I don't really care.
Lent rolled around and I remembered I had commit to something for 40 days. Lots of people give something up like oreos, others commit to doing charity work for the 40 days, and like the crazy catholic I am, I gave up the Facebook and Instagram. There were many reasons that I did it. I find many parts of FB fun, but a lot of the posts I see are overwhelmingly depressing. Fun fact: It wasn't until my birthday, 36 days into Lent, that people seemed to really notice. So perhaps my assessment about being un-followed is correct. Followers may come and go, but this motherhood challenge will not die. And it has to stop.
This motherhood challenge actually had a teeny tiny hand in me leaving the Facebook for Lent. I find it really offensive that one mom finds it okay to pick which of her friends are good moms by tagging them in this challenge. Now, I don't claim to be fucking mother of the year or something, but I found it super depressing that no one seemed to think I was good enough for the challenge. Clearly they can see I love my children, right? I obnoxiously post photos every day, so why wouldn't I want to be a part of the madness? And then I started to think about my other friends who want kids desperately, but aren't able to have them - whatever the reason might be. Maybe it is a woman who can not conceive. Maybe it is the cost of a surrogate being too much. Maybe it's that their spouse doesn't want a child. How hurtful it must be for them to have to suffer through these cute yet terribly obnoxious and thoughtless posts. There's also my friends with no kids at all and no desire to have them that hate these posts as well.
But wait, there's more. Today I saw the fatherhood challenge. Last week I even saw a pet parent challenge, who by the way, pet parents found this annoying enough to start their own because they are parents too.
I just, I really feel like this has to stop. If you want to obnoxiously share photos of your kids or pets like I do. Just do it. Because trust me it is not a "challenge". A challenge is waking up every day for the last 15 years wishing you were with your husband who passed away like my 93 year old grandmother does daily. A challenge is having brain trauma, being paralyzed on one side of your body, having to learn to do everything we take for granted all over again and deal with this huge adjustment for the rest of your life like my aunt has been doing for the last two and a half decades. A challenge is raising a child with microcephaly for the last 35 years like my aunt and uncle have done - having no idea when she was born anything about this birth defect - and still raising a happy, healthy and beautiful woman. Those are challenges. Posting photos is not. The end.
***Disclaimer: It is Day 3 of my juice cleanse, so all bets are off as far as my craziness goes. You've been warned.***
Welcome back to Babbling Brooks, I guess?
Over Lent, I decided to give up social media sites like Facebook and Instagram. Sort of a social media cleanse, if you will. My sister in law inspired me. She's been off of social media for what seems like forever and has not looked back. I didn't think I could do it. I wanted to do it, but couldn't find it in me to give up the friends and family from far away that I keep in touch with on FB. So instead I deleted a bunch of people. My close friends refer to this stage in my life as "the purge". I went through my FB friends list and I deleted about 800 people. Sounds silly, but I just felt like a lot of people who were liking my stuff had no idea who I really was. So I went through and selected people that I felt I actually wanted to share my life with. Why? I'm an over sharer. It's what I do. If you know me in real life, I do it to your face just as much as I do on the FB. Let's not mistake that I am super aware of that. Some people find it annoying, some people find it amusing and some people, I'm sure, have un-followed me. But as the great Rupaul says "what other people think of you is none of your god damn business". Shout out to my cycling teacher, Stacy, who often reminds us of this valuable and inspiring quote. So follow me or don't, I don't really care.
Lent rolled around and I remembered I had commit to something for 40 days. Lots of people give something up like oreos, others commit to doing charity work for the 40 days, and like the crazy catholic I am, I gave up the Facebook and Instagram. There were many reasons that I did it. I find many parts of FB fun, but a lot of the posts I see are overwhelmingly depressing. Fun fact: It wasn't until my birthday, 36 days into Lent, that people seemed to really notice. So perhaps my assessment about being un-followed is correct. Followers may come and go, but this motherhood challenge will not die. And it has to stop.
This motherhood challenge actually had a teeny tiny hand in me leaving the Facebook for Lent. I find it really offensive that one mom finds it okay to pick which of her friends are good moms by tagging them in this challenge. Now, I don't claim to be fucking mother of the year or something, but I found it super depressing that no one seemed to think I was good enough for the challenge. Clearly they can see I love my children, right? I obnoxiously post photos every day, so why wouldn't I want to be a part of the madness? And then I started to think about my other friends who want kids desperately, but aren't able to have them - whatever the reason might be. Maybe it is a woman who can not conceive. Maybe it is the cost of a surrogate being too much. Maybe it's that their spouse doesn't want a child. How hurtful it must be for them to have to suffer through these cute yet terribly obnoxious and thoughtless posts. There's also my friends with no kids at all and no desire to have them that hate these posts as well.
But wait, there's more. Today I saw the fatherhood challenge. Last week I even saw a pet parent challenge, who by the way, pet parents found this annoying enough to start their own because they are parents too.
I just, I really feel like this has to stop. If you want to obnoxiously share photos of your kids or pets like I do. Just do it. Because trust me it is not a "challenge". A challenge is waking up every day for the last 15 years wishing you were with your husband who passed away like my 93 year old grandmother does daily. A challenge is having brain trauma, being paralyzed on one side of your body, having to learn to do everything we take for granted all over again and deal with this huge adjustment for the rest of your life like my aunt has been doing for the last two and a half decades. A challenge is raising a child with microcephaly for the last 35 years like my aunt and uncle have done - having no idea when she was born anything about this birth defect - and still raising a happy, healthy and beautiful woman. Those are challenges. Posting photos is not. The end.
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