Enough Already

I was at an open mic recently, where one of the female comedians on stage did a set that involved talking about Louis CK. After she was done, the emcee of the night called out to the audience:

“Hey! How many of you would come see Louis if he was here?!!”

95% of the men in the room cheered and laughed in agreement. Some even clapped their hands. Loudly. Some seemed to be laughing to fit in. And I was too busy looking around sad faced at the men who were cheering to actually notice what the other women’s faces were saying in response to this excited and troubling reaction. 

To the overwhelming number of you in the room who were in support of this idea, I have some questions for you. You see, I’m only in my infancy as a stand-up comedian. And everyone warned me. “You will hate men by the end of the first year, if not sooner, I can promise you that.” They told me you’d be gross. They told me you wouldn’t laugh at my jokes. They told me you’d go out of your way to make me feel excluded.

In the last five months, I’ve met quite a few men who are not gross, who do laugh at my jokes, and of course, those who are welcoming and do not make me feel excluded as a woman. I’m happy to say, in most of my encounters with male stand-ups, the rumors have not been entirely true. Again, I’m in my infancy as a comedian, so maybe this is still just the honey moon phase, as they say.

So back to the open mic. Some of you who were there are the same men who I’ve met out and about. The nice guys, I guess. Some of you I respect already and think your comedy is wonderful. I’ve seen you talk politely to other women, too, so I know that you’re not some sort of gross monster. 

With that said, when the emcee asked “Hey! How many of you would come see Louis if he was here?!!”, why did you cheer? Are you unaware how hurtful this was to every single woman sitting in that room? Why didn’t you remain silent? Did you not notice that there were women in the room? The same women you just seemed supportive of by laughing and clapping at their jokes. Does her safety or well being not matter to you? Are we that disposable to you? Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to sit in a room full of men who agree that it’s safe to release a predator back into the wild?

Sure, you’re not his prey. I get that. And believe me, I’m as heartbroken as you are that Louis CK turned out to be a monster. I was a huge fan. Watched a lot of the tv shows and movies he produced and appeared in. I’ve also seen him live and laughed my ass off.

But he hurt a lot of women, guys.

And you’re a man, so maybe you’ve never experienced sexual harassment, being groped without consent, or having someone expose themselves to you, so you don’t get it. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you don’t fully grasp the concept because you don’t know what it feels like to live in fear of the person who attacked you. Maybe you’ve never held your friend in your arms sobbing after the night she was raped. No amount of therapy can ever give back the peace a person had before they were sexually abused.

I think that all of you can do better. BE better. Show all of your female compadres that you give a shit. Stop supporting monsters.